he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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