I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
