dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
