How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
