This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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