I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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