Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
