ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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