also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
