covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
