Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
