I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
