I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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