Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My vagina is officially offended.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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