i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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