its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
