ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
