she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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