I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
