i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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