What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
