Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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