Can Purell be used as lube?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
