Dual....:-)
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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