Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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