I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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