my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize