White coat. Heels.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
