i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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