Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
