So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Houston, we have a blender
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
