i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
honey bunches of taint.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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