it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
