haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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