I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
