just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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