I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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