I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
