3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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