There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize