There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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