If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
