# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
