my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
