The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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