good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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