Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize