Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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