We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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