He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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