Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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