Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Im part way to drunk.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
