Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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