Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
