I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
