he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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