All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
