im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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