I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
