Where is the hickey?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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