Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
