The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
whose parrot is this?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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