I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
